I downloaded all your pages and went through them. Great job! Good for you! I can’t wait til I’m at this stage. maybe tomorrow?! Here are the main comments I have. It’s not really a line edit but more like the overall impression.
Sales Page: there are a few phrases that stand out: lose weight~~health/sanity~~sexy/authentic
and in the “feeling” part: weight~~uncomfortable~~exhausted
you mention how different solutions will work for different folks, but feels like it needs a
little narrowing of the gateway problem. “Sexy feels like body image, Sanity feels like mental
state and “Exhausted feels like energy level or discouragement at lack of results. I can see how
all three combine in the gateway problem, but I get a little lost with what we will be focusing on.
E-mail 1: Am I tired because of weight? Heavy because tired? Can’t exersize because of past issues?
The perfect storm line repeats a few lines down
Email 2: It’s hard to tell if your solution is going to be physical or mental/attitudinal; like, metabolic
assessment and counseling or behavioral/ mindset
I see on the opt-in page you mention biological changes.
We can go over these points when we speak tomorrow. Nothing major.
Technical questions:
Does the website host make the clickable links go the right pages and/or does the teleseminar
program provide this service. I know I’ve done some of this with weblinks but it was awkward with the web program I was using. Maybe there will be some point tomorrow I can get a little hint on this subject.
That’s all for now. Overall looks good to go. The “what you’ll discover in session definitely intrigues!!
Hi Linda,
I downloaded all your pages and went through them. Great job! Good for you! I can’t wait til I’m at this stage. maybe tomorrow?! Here are the main comments I have. It’s not really a line edit but more like the overall impression.
Sales Page: there are a few phrases that stand out: lose weight~~health/sanity~~sexy/authentic
and in the “feeling” part: weight~~uncomfortable~~exhausted
you mention how different solutions will work for different folks, but feels like it needs a
little narrowing of the gateway problem. “Sexy feels like body image, Sanity feels like mental
state and “Exhausted feels like energy level or discouragement at lack of results. I can see how
all three combine in the gateway problem, but I get a little lost with what we will be focusing on.
“But wait, there is more” (a little cliché)
E-mail 1: Am I tired because of weight? Heavy because tired? Can’t exersize because of past issues?
The perfect storm line repeats a few lines down
Email 2: It’s hard to tell if your solution is going to be physical or mental/attitudinal; like, metabolic
assessment and counseling or behavioral/ mindset
I see on the opt-in page you mention biological changes.
We can go over these points when we speak tomorrow. Nothing major.
Technical questions:
Does the website host make the clickable links go the right pages and/or does the teleseminar
program provide this service. I know I’ve done some of this with weblinks but it was awkward with the web program I was using. Maybe there will be some point tomorrow I can get a little hint on this subject.
That’s all for now. Overall looks good to go. The “what you’ll discover in session definitely intrigues!!
Hope I can get something up for y’all’s perusal.
Thanks,
Jenn