Getting Sick Was A Gift That Changed My Life

One of the most profound, transformational experiences I ever had came when I was 23 years old. It was as a result of being so sick I couldn’t work anymore.

It was the middle of winter and I was living just outside of Philadelphia working with horses when I got so sick I couldn’t work. I had struggled with health issues my whole life so this was nothing too shocking and toughing it out was my standard approach.

My dad, who is European, suggested I go to health spa to “get my health back.” Whoever heard of such a thing? I discounted his suggestion immediately because I had a job–I had a horse–I had responsibilities—and people and animals depending on me. I couldn’t just up and leave because if I did my whole life would fall apart. I would lose my housing. I would lose my job. Even my horse would be homeless.

But then my health got even worse and I didn’t have a choice anymore. I had to move home to live with my parents and figure out what to do with my horse. I couldn’t afford to board him because I had no money and giving him up was NOT an option. (I don’t remember the details of solution I came up with, but it was a creative mix of borrowing, lending, luck, and faith.)

I was incredibly fortunate to have supportive parents willing to help me. At the time I didn’t understand how sick I was. I thought I could just rest for a few weeks and I’d be back to normal again (which meant functional, not healthy). But since they offered me a boost—why not take advantage of it.

My mom, a meticulous researcher, had complied a stack of brochures (snail-mailed paper in those days) from just about every retreat center, spa, and weight loss camp in the country–and beyond. I spent the next three weeks sorting through the rather large pile trying to figure out where to go. I was really sick, exhausted, and wanted to feel better. I was overweight and wanted my body back. Weight loss camps seemed harsh; ritzy spas seemed nice and relaxing, but superficial… I just wanted to be healthy again so I could get back to my life.

The places that appealed to me the most were the ones that seemed like they could deliver dramatic results in a relatively short amount of time. The place I finally chose was in Southern California and the testimonials coming out of it were almost beyond belief. Cancer staying in remission, blood sugars becoming normal after a week or two, and chronic diseases being cured.

I spent three weeks following a very rigorous program that consisted of raw/live food, wheat grass juice, meditation, gentle exercise, and a variety of classes. It profoundly changed my health as well as my perspective on health and healing. I used to think that diseases were things that happen to you rather than temporary states of physiological distress. What I learned was that the body is designed to heal, and I saw proof of that all around me every day.

After 1 week there I had lost 10lbs and felt better than I had in a long time. After three weeks I had lost 21lbs and felt like I had walked out of a thick fog into a crystal-clear day. It was such a profound experience I will never forget it. And I learned so much—things I didn’t know I didn’t know—and I am forever changed by it.

In hindsight getting that sick so young was such a gift; it allowed me to learn early in life to value my health and it put me on a path of health and wellness that I wouldn’t have followed otherwise.

Now, after 30 years of experience and study, spending the last decade plus as a health coach helping people get their health back, I can’t help but appreciate how invaluable retreat experiences are. There’s nothing like just showing up relaxing, learning what you didn’t know you didn’t know, and spending all your time and energy healing your body mind and soul. Experience is the greatest teacher; there’s no way to communicate what it feels like, but it IS possible to create an experience to allow people to feel it for themselves….

The level of healing and change so many of us need to “get our health back” is more than what we can do by ourselves. We need to be fed, cared for, and supported as we surrender to the mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual healing that needs to happen.

It has been a long-held dream of mine to share the kind of transformative healing experience I was fortunate enough to have found so long ago.  This year it is going to become a reality in the beautiful Sonoma County wine country.

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