Relax and Enjoy It

Do you ever find yourself getting wound up about something you can’t change –or aren’t going to change? I know I do.

But then I remind myself I have 2 choices: I can do something about it, or I can quit putting energy in that direction. Period. That’s it!

For me it’s a matter of survival.

With a history of adrenal fatigue, I can’t afford to be throwing my energy away willy-nilly. I’m better now, but that’s only because I’ve learned to navigate the world differently, prioritize differently, and be selective with my time and energy.

Last week, despite knowing better (or rather just not thinking it through carefully enough) I put myself in a position where I had to make a tough choice. I had begun a 5-day modified fast (How I’ve easily maintained my weight despite having been fairly free with my eating habits over the past 5 months (More on this later)) with a group of other women. The goal was to support the group going through it, but also as part of my own maintenance.

Monday morning the group fast began. We were prepared, excited, and ready to go. It was more fun than I expected having a team to check in with, cheering each other on.

But, by Tuesday afternoon I had to admit to myself that I was being far less productive, workwise, than I needed to be, I just didn’t have the energy I needed to stay focused and push through. It was taking me quadruple the time and energy to do simple tasks, and I wasn’t sure I was doing them well.

Wednesday morning was the roughest. After only one zoom meeting I had to stop and weigh my priorities.

Do I break the fast…or do I relax and enjoy it?

In the end I decided to stay the course and relax and enjoy it. I put my own health and body above all else.

It was a hard choice to make and I did not have the productive week I needed and wanted, but luckily it was filled with unexpected blessings and good fortune. (I think there is something about making one’s own health and life a priority that invites miracles)

Really, I felt fine the whole week, I just didn’t have the focus for writing and some of the more detailed tasks on my agenda. I moved slower, relaxed more, and made that be OK. I relaxed and enjoyed the ride.

This week my body, mind, and focus are fantastic! I feel reborn!

It was a shockingly healing experience to let myself be the priority in my own life without beating myself up, or making myself wrong for it.

Yes, after all these years, it still surprises me that I am “allowed” to be the priority in my life.

I was so programmed to take care of everyone and everything else first that I still have a degree of disbelief. Some things I have to remind myself of regularly are:

1. I am safe
2. It’s my life
3. I am allowed to make my life for me
4. I get to decide on the priorities in my life (and I can change them whenever I want to)
5. I deserve to enjoy my life—a lot!
6. It is not selfish to do whatever it is I need to do to take care of myself
7. I bring more to the world when I am at my best
8. More color! More music! More levity!
9. Take out the trash!

All joking aside, as I sit and write this, it brings tears to my eyes remembering all of the years I spent running myself into the ground, not getting enough sleep, stressed out, not eating properly, thinking “I had to ______ before I could take care of me.” (fill in the blank for reasons why I could not give myself what I really wanted and needed)

What if we could all just shortcut to selfcare instead of making it a prize for ‘a job well done’?

Don’t you think you would do a better ‘job’ if you brought a better version of yourself to the task?

I know I do.

This experience reminded me of that.

Are you on a health journey and looking for a breakthrough?