Inner Evolution: Becoming the YOU, you always wanted to be

Perfection

/0 Comments/in Inner Evolution /by Linda

As I was driving home the other day after running some errands (one of which was to pay a bill that would otherwise be late) I was thinking…. Why do I do that? Why would I wait until the last minute to pay a bill that I could easily have popped into the mail a couple of weeks earlier? The silliness of it struck me. And then, a memory jumped to mind. Many, many years earlier, in elementary school, we were learning about Native American Indians. There was a tribe, the Navajo I think, that were famous for their exquisite weaving. But, they would always make a mistake in the weaving; if not by accident, then on purpose, because to be perfect was considered arrogance, or impertinence, towards the gods. It must have stuck with me in some corner of my mind for all of these years. Is this why I do silly little things that make my own life more difficult; because I don’t want to “be too perfect”? Because if I were it would tempt disaster?

I see this tendency in myself and others all the time. Life can be going along smoothly and fabulously then suddenly, like the emergency break just got yanked, there is a senseless act of self sabotage that interrupts the wonderful fluid forward flow. There is a term I have heard used for this phenomenon. It is “de-evolution”.

Why does this happen? Is it because it takes so much energy to keep “it” all together; like holding multiple beach balls below the surface of a pool? Is it because we somehow fear being perfect? Or maybe because we want to be seen and recognized and loved for who we are as people rather than for what we look like or the job we do. Most likely it is some combination of these, and other reasons. We are all so unique, so different….and I will hazard a guess that the “cure” for this phenomenon is as unique as the experience.

For me, maybe the cure is to slow down, smell the flowers, enjoy the sunshine, and to get more joy out of the little things in life, including paying pills. As for any lingering fears of perfection (ha ha), now that I am aware of that idea, I can use NLP to rewrite that, up ’til now subconscious, internal dialogue.

Fitness And Weight Loss Tops List Of Broken New Year’s Resolutions

/0 Comments/in Inner Evolution, Weight Loss /by Linda

Happy New Years! Did you make any resolutions this year?

I find it interesting that fitness and weight loss rank second and third right behind spending more time with family. It tops the list however on broken resolutions (with eating healthier as the #5 most broken resolution)

So, what happens in the month of January that takes people from being all fired up about their goals and resolutions breaking them?

One possibility is that the foods themselves (“healthy” or not) are interfering with, and PREVENTING weight loss and motivation to exercise. This is a phenomenon called food intolerance. Food intolerance causes swelling, inflammation, fatigue, cravings as well as a variety of other symptoms one might not necessarily trace back to being food related, like skin disorders, headaches, aches and pains, foggy mindedness, depression, and general malaise. Removing the offending foods can created a quick and surprisingly effective method of reversing unpleasant associated symptoms–which often baffle doctors. (Why every doctor does not run this test as part of an annual physical, I do not know.

The information I gained from getting tested myself has been invaluable. I no longer eat onions, apples, eggs or turkey –and I feel 100 times better than I did before I knew that those specific food were NOT healthy choices for ME! My energy increased dramatically within just a few days, and the bonus was that I lost 8 lbs in the first 3 weeks without even trying.

The results I see in clients is often just as impressive if not more so. I have seen people lose 10lbs in a week, horrible skin conditions (that they had had for years) disappear in three. It is the norm, not the exception,  for weight to drop and energy to go up as a result of making some “this not that” tweaks to diet using the information obtained with the Food Intolerance test. It is my TOP recommended test, especially those struggling with low/inconsistent energy and inflammatory conditions.

It is an easy way to to stay on track…making specific, easy, doable, changes that give good, and sometimes even miraculous results.

Sometimes it is the little changes we make that has the biggest impact on overall health. It doesn’t have to be hard.

 

Doing vs. Not Doing

/3 Comments/in Inner Evolution, Weight Loss /by Linda

….I was more nervous and incompetent than he thought (Carlos says to himself). “I’ve always been that way, and yet I want to change, but I don’t know how. I am so inadequate.”

“I already know that you think you are rotten,” he [Don Juan] said. “That’s your DOING. Now, in order to affect that DOING, I am going to recommend that you learn another DOING. From now on, and for a period of 8 days, I want you to lie to yourself. Instead of telling yourself the truth, that you are ugly, rotten, and inadequate, you will tell yourself that you are the complete opposite, knowing that you are lying and beyond hope.”

“But what would be the point of lying like that?” Carlos asked.

“It may hook you to another DOING and then you may realize that both DOINGS are lies, and unreal, and that to hinge yourself to either one is a waste of time, because the only thing that is real is the being in you….”

“The trick is in which one to emphasize,” he said. “We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.”

(an excerpt from ‘Journey To Ixtlan’ by Carlos Castenada)

Conversations With Linda – A Testimonial…

/0 Comments/in Inner Evolution, Weight Loss /by Linda

I met Linda Partida a few years back and we started what would become an on-going conversation about life, food, healing and well-being in general. I wanted to address several issues including extreme fatigue, loss of loved ones in my life, weight issues and just overall not feeling well or myself.

One important thing I wanted her to understand about me was that I had already achieved big weight losses in my life. Always to just gain it ALL right back plus much more. I expressed to her that dieting never seemed to “stick” for me and I had tried everything; from carbs to no-carbs, high-fat, low- fat, Weight Watchers, and fasting, severe exercising –basically everything minus “the surgery.”

So together we began to explore my life and health from a big picture approach and took in all aspects of my life and health for consideration. We examined major life foundation and emotional issues and behaviors I was exhibiting.  The first and number one thing I noticed right away about Linda was that there was absolutely NO-JUDGEMENT on her part, of anything. Things were simply and non-judgmentally listened to, accepted and discussed and none of my thoughts, ideas or feelings were wrong or bad—they just were.

She literally “made room” for me to be me just as I was in the present moment and it was okay and to have and express my very deepest thoughts, sadness, hopes and confessions about my life, body, health and actions.

The other thing I relaxed into with Linda was that there was no sense of urgency on her part, although my situation needed change and we both wanted that for me it was understood that this was a process and we were going to give me the room to do whatever I needed or it took to get me there the RIGHT way. Not trying to “fix” me with pills, pushed upon programs or dieting with results that would not last long term.

It’s an interesting exercise to try and paint a picture of our accumulated work together because it’s been a “road” to say the least. Our goal has been to literally SHIFT my internal motivations and drives in my life vs. putting me on a program or diet of sorts. It has taken a combination of modalities and an accumulation of deep and real conversations and sessions together to achieve this goal.

Having said that, the mere fact that I’ve personally “shifted” mentally to a new place where I actually desire to examine and self-correct my eating habits and portions and my desire to exercise IS the actual result of our work itself.

The change I feel inside of me is REAL and PERMANENT not something any other program can say. The shift toward taking care of me has come in waves and quite surprisingly. One in the form of a personal desire to simply do what I need, like getting myself to the gym and eating better quality of foods, actually WANTING to make better choices for me and being interested in finding out what those are.

It’s so much easier to opt for what my body needs when there is no longer an obsessive drive to overeat or binge on inappropriate foods.

Back when we started working together Linda had once said, “what if you could just simply make a different choice for yourself?” At the time I thought she was crazy…why would I do that?  I was at that point still very controlled by my cravings and desire for comfort from food. I remember replying, “Well that will never happen – it’s not who I am!” Now I can see and feel inside of me what she meant. That’s how I know I’ve changed. I actually want and desire to make the different choices now for my life and I am more in control of my mental decisions around those choices.

Linda also said to me, “I wonder what it would feel like if one could have the effects of weight-loss surgery without actually having the surgery…” We entered into a discussion around what that would be like, feel like, what the internal conversations with oneself would look like. These questions and many others like them are how we’ve made a mental adjustment around life behavior and actually changed habits.

I started to think lately…if I am in control of my behavior and of my mind then why couldn’t I be in control of my decisions around how much, what and how often I eat, live and feel? Why then couldn’t I also master my desires for what I eat, when I eat, how I live my life? This is a breakthrough to be sure.

This has been again, a process, using various modalities and with many incantations along the way.

Each moment of shift has certainly had a new level of change in my life but as of late I’ve seen a more final result and success in terms of my behavior. I’ve gotten to know a new relationship with self, emotions and food. I’ve been experimenting with hunger and fullness in general. I’ve been re-introduced to my own hunger and desire for food and more importantly at each moment why I am eating or more importantly not eating.

Again, for me, the weight-loss is secondary to creating a lasting change inside of me. Anyone can lose weight. This we know. But to keep it off, change a relationship with food for life and uncover one’s self-love and truly wanting to care for ourselves is a monumental internal shift to say the least!

Many thanks to you Linda!

Top 10 Ways To Escape Depression

/1 Comment/in Healthy Habits, Inner Evolution /by Linda

This morning (Thanksgiving day) I was woken up by a text from a client reaching out to me because she was feeling depressed. It was 7am my time–10am hers.

“Linda, I’m feeling depressed. On this Thanksgiving day. I wish I felt happy and up beat. When I feel like this I don’t tend to do things.” “Maybe I need a hobby. I feel better when I read chicken soup for the soul. Maybe I need to do better self care–maybe I need a ritual of self care. Maybe some yoga too…”

This was the beginning of a long text exchange. What I shared with her were a few of my top, most effective, ways to escape the gravitational pull of DEPRESSION.

She’s in that fragile place of wanting to change her body, weight, and health, but her old thought and feeling habits have not had time to change yet. Thoughts and feelings are habits, just like anything else. Her desire for different body is strong, but she has not yet developed the ‘muscle’ of being able to take hold of her “state”. Yet. Just like anything else, it takes practice.

The objective here is to change your “STATE”–changing both your focus and physicality at the same time. To go from a depressive state to a happy, upbeat, empowered one.

  1. The fastest way to change your state is to change your PHYSICALITY. This means:

2. Change your POSTURE. If you were in an acting class and wanted to act depressed, or sad, how would you stand (or sit)? Do it now. Come on, even sadder! Overact the part! Now act happy and upbeat. Come on, even happier!! Be convincing! Over act this part too! How does that change your posture? Your facial expression? Now smile and stand up tall (in your happy posture) and see how hard it is to think sad thoughts. Mood and posture is a two way street. Mood may effect posture, but posture can also effect mood. So sit tall, open your chest, and balance your head over your shoulders.

3. Guess what else changes when you adopt a happy posture? BREATHING! When you slump your lungs cannot take in a full breath–your breathing is shallow and breaths are small. When you stand/sit tall, your chest expands giving your lungs more room to expand and take in a full deep breath. In addition to getting more oxygen in your body, it also stimulates your Vagus nerve. Not sure what that means? That’s why the link is there.

4. Part of why you feel depressed in the first place has to do with FOCUS. Thinking about things that make you sad, disappointments, unfulfilled expectations, insults, shortcomings…is depressing. The antidote is to get hyper focused on things that make you happy. It’s easier to focus on sad things than happy ones. Maybe there’s some evolutionary advantage to it–like learning and finding solutions to problems rather than easily being able to forget…? Still, sometimes it is more productive to just move on than dwell in a disempowered state.

5. It’s the STORIES you tell yourself that make you either happy or sad. It’s not whether something is true or not true that makes you happy or sad, but rather what you believe that matters. So you may as well tell yourself a story that makes you feel the way you want to feel. Doing v. Not Doing. Which wolf will you feed?

6. Changing your SURROUNDINGS helps change focus. Getting away from the triggers and trappings of your daily life and the things that reinforce your thinking patterns makes a huge difference. Ultimately you will be able to surmount your environment, but while learning how to escape the pull of depression, make it easy for yourself and get out of your fishbowl. Getting out in nature can be the best medicine.

7. Your thoughts (and your physicality) effect BRAIN CHEMISTRY. Conversely your brain chemistry effects your thoughts and your (default) physicality. Guess what else affects brain chemistry…? FOOD! And water. Your diet has a HUGE impact on your brain. Between blood sugar, neurotransmitters, hormonal balance, your gut biome, and your nutritional health, your brain isn’t necessarily running the show. Not to mention FOOD INTOLERANCE. One of the under appreciated symptoms of food intolerance is depression. More on this in another blog.

Exactly what to eat for the best mood varies a bit from person to person, but a good rule of thumb is to eat super nutritious, light, easy to digest, fiber rich foods, like soups, with plenty of leafy green vegetables (which have an uplifting effect on mood), and stay away from sugar and processed foods as much as possible.

8. Once you address the physical and biological reasons you might be stuck in a depressive rut, it’s time to explore the mind. One reason you might be feeling low is because of unmet EXPECTATIONS. Without conscious planning we expect certain things. When we do something nice for someone we might expect a “thank you,” or some reciprocation. One of the reasons why the holidays are so emotionally challenging for some people is that there is a sort of unwritten, cultural expectation that holidays are a time for coming together, for love, happiness…and then their expectations go unmet and there are feelings of disappointment. One way avoid this is to re examine and adjust expectations.

9. As a human being one of our most essential needs is for that of CONNECTION. It has a dramatic effect on long-term health because it plays such an important roll in emotional well being. Those who are part of a community live longer and are happier than those who aren’t. The culture here in the USA tends to be very insular with a high premium put on independence and little thought given to interdependence (which is not the same thing as codependency). Finding ways to fulfill your need for real and meaningful connection is a huge boost to happiness and a good antidote for depression.

10. And not to be underestimated in the big picture is ALIGNMENT WITH PURPOSE. We all have something we feel like we were put here on this earth to do, consciously, or subconsciously. When you feel like you are fulfilling your purpose; when your actions align with your values and your mission, and you are actively contributing to the world around you–being an artist, a teacher, a parent, a leader, a healer, or whatever, everything will fall into place. There is no antidote for depression quite as powerful as doing something for someone else–really contributing to their happiness and well being for no other reason than to see them thrive. Because humans are interdependent beings and when one thrives, we all thrive.